Things you do when you're a mom

The things you do when you're a mom. It always surprises me, the lengths that I'm willing to go to to amuse and teach my daughter.

• I am terrified of heights. I'm talking panic attack, fetal position moaning and rocking, stepping down off a chair is high enough fear of heights. Last year, my daughter, who is fearless, except for flies, wanted to go on the big ferris wheel at the CNE. I mean, the BIG one that takes you up 2 stories and then leaves you there while the other cars empty. She really wanted to sit beside mommy. I went but I insisted she sit beside daddy instead. As we reached the top of the ascent, the wind picked up and the cart started rocking. My daughter thought this was fun, and started rocking it MORE. My husband took one look at my ashen face, my white knuckle grip on the backpack and my clenched jaw to keep the primal scream inside and told our daughter to stop rocking the cart. I made it to the bottom. The next time, I watched the backpacks, on terra firma. I may have wimped out, but I don't think it's a good lesson for my daughter to see her mother curled in a ball sobbing hysterically.

• I am a second generation thunderstorm coward. My earliest memories of thunderstorms involved being dragged to the basement in the middle of the night by my terrified mother. My mother, who at 83, still goes and sits in the stairwell of her apartment building in the middle of the night to hide from the storms. She and my father lived in Kansas when they were first married, and the tornado terror never left her.  When our daughter arrived, I was bound and determined not to create a similar terror in my daughter, just because her mom is. I told my husband from the start that if she woke in the night with thunderstorms, he needed to go to her because I didn't want to share my terror with her. So far, so good.

• I hate fireworks. I hate the noise. The smoke triggers an asthma attack. I love to look at them, provided I am far enough away to not hear the noise or smell the smoke. However, our local university does a really good job of Canada Day, including a pretty impressive fireworks display.  Our daughter loves fireworks. She was old enough to go this year so we took her. She sat beside me, snug in her sleeping bag and yelled KABOOM at the top of her lungs every time the fireworks exploded in the sky. Then she laughed and said "that was a big one, mommy." Maybe all I was missing was yelling KABOOM! I still don't like them, but I don't like them less than before. 

• I failed on the bees. My daughter is a terrified of them as I am. Oh well, can't win them all.