My little girl started Grade 1 today. She wore her sparkly new shoes, her sparkly top, her jeans with sequins on them and her sparkly belt. She had her Hannah Montana backpack and lunch bag and was more than a little terrified.
My daughter suffers from Anxiety disorder, OCD and ADHD. She may or may not be FASD as well, but we have to wait until next March to have that confirmed. The labels explain the why she is, but not the whose she is. They are part of her, but I'm not going to let them define her.
School is tough on my kid. She's a worrier. She is a perfectionist and she'd rather say she doesn't know than to get an answer wrong. Her OCD means that things have to be done a certain way every time, and if things change unexpectedly she can be thrown off for the day. IF something has been promised, then it must happen as promised or she can't cope. Life is full of unexpected changes, so I've tried to mitigate that as much as possible. If there is only a possibility of something happening, I don't mention it until it becomes a certainty.
My little girl is very intuitive. She knows when someone likes her, and she knows when someone doesn't. She wants everyone to like her. That's going to be hard on her-in fact, it already has been. One of the challenges with OCD is sometimes she fixates, and sometimes it's on a person. (If I never hear another word about Hannah Montana I'll be a happy person) If the person is someone that she has decided is her new BFF, and it's news to the other person, we have a problem. I have to let the fixation run its course, but I have a sad little girl in the meantime when her adoration is not returned.
We had a couple of really bad days this weekend, because school was weighing on my little girl's mind. She thought she had to know everything for Grade 1 the first day of Grade 1. Since I'm her mom, and I know nothing, I solved the problem by hauling out the Grade 1 and Kindergarten curriculum books I'd already purchased. We started with Kindergarten, and worked through some pages so she could see how much she had learned. Then I asked her whether she had learned things in Junior Kindergarten or Senior Kindergarten. She's a bright kid, and figured out the pattern quickly-that learning builds from stuff you already know. Then I grabbed the Grade 1 book and we flipped through some pages. She quickly discovered that she already knows a bunch of Grade 1 stuff too. Problem solved, at least for now.
I'm worried about test anxiety. I'm worried that the school will use the labels to define her, rather than to help her be her best. I'm worried that my kid will be stressed and anxious. She had a rough year last year, but over the summer, I got my sunny bunny back. I don't want to lose that kid again.
The school, teachers and principal will just have to get used to this face because they are going to see it alot. A good friend of mine, whose son has Downs Syndrome, tells teachers that "my child can't rise to low expectations." I like that. Yes, my kid has some challenges, but that is all they are. She's a kind, sweet, smart, loving, funny little fashionista with strong opinions. She will do great things, with a bit of help, a lot of support and love in abundance (and maybe the occasional trip by a stuffed bunny in a backpack.)
My little girl started Grade 1 today, and I couldn't be more proud.
Showing posts with label first day of school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label first day of school. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Milestones
My little girl started school today. With her ladybug backpack and lunch bag, her unicorn top and socks, she marched through the door to Junior Kindergarten and into a new world of learning.
Like any mom, I have no idea where the time went. People tell you when you become a parent to savour every moment because the time flashes past in a heartbeat. During the first years, it's a sleep deprived, tantrum infused blur. My little girl has an aversion to sleep, and it's been a tough battle dragging her out of bed earlier and earlier to prepare her for this morning. It's been challenging...on both of us non-morning people.
I made sure that my daughter was socially ready for school. She was very timid when she was small, so I put her in summer camp and a pre-school program so that she would have more social skills than her mother did when I started school. I also wanted her to become familiar with the concept that she is not the only sun in the universe. We're still working on that one. The teacher's comment at the end of the day today was "holy moley, she likes to get her own way." My response was "um yeah, we're working on that."
I had a couple of worries as she headed off to school-body functions and food. She's been toilet trained 3 times-once at 2 1/2 until she broke her leg in 2 places and couldn't GET to the bathroom by herself for 2 months and by the time she could again she'd forgotten how. The second time was at age 3, until she pitched a sustained hissy fit when summer camp ended and regressed to peeing her pants again. We're working on this latest one, and she left a puddle in the living room yesterday... a couple of times. She came home in the same clothes I sent her in this morning. I'll take it. Yesterday, we went through 6 changes of clothes. I suspect it will be some time before I stop crossing my fingers as I send her off in the morning.
The eating was a big concern. My daughter is a grazer, and given her druthers, it takes her most of the day to eat her lunch...if she eats at all...which she sometimes doesn't do, which leads to meltdowns. It was such a big concern that I sent her off to her first day of school with shrimp in her lunch. Yes, shrimp. She will devour them, and thanks to the gods who invented gel pack cups, she had shrimp that kept cold until lunch. I also tucked in a pudding, some ham, a cheese string, some crackers, cookies, chocolate milk and an apple. The crackers and cookies came back home, because she forgot that I'd put her snacks in her backpack and her lunch in her lunch bag. She ate all the heathy stuff, so it's all good. She can cope and listen much better when she eats.
I know she has some challenges ahead. Strong willed, independent people and structured authority are not symbiotic. I know she will do well in the structured environment because she likes to know what she is doing and when. I also know that she has some tough lessons to learn about having her own way. We've tried to teach her and now we will support and partner with her teacher.
I didn't cry as I sent her off, although my husband was blinking his eyes suspiciously. I confess I drove by the school on my way home from an appointment just to see how she was doing. It was lunch time, and the children were outside. I could see my little girl, playing on the periphery but keeping an eye on everything. That's what she does in new situations. I also saw some children engaging with her which encouraged me. There's some residual timidness there, but there's nothing wrong with being timid and shy. It will change soon enough when she gets comfortable.
She goes three full days next week, and that will be the test by the end of the week.
I wish my little girl the same joy in learning that I've always had. I've tried to prep her by telling her how much fun school can be, and how exciting learning new things is. I've tried my best to lay the framework for a lifetime of learning, and I will continue to partner with her teachers. I won't always have the answers, but I will do my best to find them. I still love to learn, and there's a whole bunch of things I don't know, although I've already bought a Math Dictionary. You can never be too prepared.
Time for chocolate chip cookies and milk. It's the perfect way to end a school day, don't you think?
Like any mom, I have no idea where the time went. People tell you when you become a parent to savour every moment because the time flashes past in a heartbeat. During the first years, it's a sleep deprived, tantrum infused blur. My little girl has an aversion to sleep, and it's been a tough battle dragging her out of bed earlier and earlier to prepare her for this morning. It's been challenging...on both of us non-morning people.
I made sure that my daughter was socially ready for school. She was very timid when she was small, so I put her in summer camp and a pre-school program so that she would have more social skills than her mother did when I started school. I also wanted her to become familiar with the concept that she is not the only sun in the universe. We're still working on that one. The teacher's comment at the end of the day today was "holy moley, she likes to get her own way." My response was "um yeah, we're working on that."
I had a couple of worries as she headed off to school-body functions and food. She's been toilet trained 3 times-once at 2 1/2 until she broke her leg in 2 places and couldn't GET to the bathroom by herself for 2 months and by the time she could again she'd forgotten how. The second time was at age 3, until she pitched a sustained hissy fit when summer camp ended and regressed to peeing her pants again. We're working on this latest one, and she left a puddle in the living room yesterday... a couple of times. She came home in the same clothes I sent her in this morning. I'll take it. Yesterday, we went through 6 changes of clothes. I suspect it will be some time before I stop crossing my fingers as I send her off in the morning.
The eating was a big concern. My daughter is a grazer, and given her druthers, it takes her most of the day to eat her lunch...if she eats at all...which she sometimes doesn't do, which leads to meltdowns. It was such a big concern that I sent her off to her first day of school with shrimp in her lunch. Yes, shrimp. She will devour them, and thanks to the gods who invented gel pack cups, she had shrimp that kept cold until lunch. I also tucked in a pudding, some ham, a cheese string, some crackers, cookies, chocolate milk and an apple. The crackers and cookies came back home, because she forgot that I'd put her snacks in her backpack and her lunch in her lunch bag. She ate all the heathy stuff, so it's all good. She can cope and listen much better when she eats.
I know she has some challenges ahead. Strong willed, independent people and structured authority are not symbiotic. I know she will do well in the structured environment because she likes to know what she is doing and when. I also know that she has some tough lessons to learn about having her own way. We've tried to teach her and now we will support and partner with her teacher.
I didn't cry as I sent her off, although my husband was blinking his eyes suspiciously. I confess I drove by the school on my way home from an appointment just to see how she was doing. It was lunch time, and the children were outside. I could see my little girl, playing on the periphery but keeping an eye on everything. That's what she does in new situations. I also saw some children engaging with her which encouraged me. There's some residual timidness there, but there's nothing wrong with being timid and shy. It will change soon enough when she gets comfortable.
She goes three full days next week, and that will be the test by the end of the week.
I wish my little girl the same joy in learning that I've always had. I've tried to prep her by telling her how much fun school can be, and how exciting learning new things is. I've tried my best to lay the framework for a lifetime of learning, and I will continue to partner with her teachers. I won't always have the answers, but I will do my best to find them. I still love to learn, and there's a whole bunch of things I don't know, although I've already bought a Math Dictionary. You can never be too prepared.
Time for chocolate chip cookies and milk. It's the perfect way to end a school day, don't you think?
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